Here's me thinking out loud and getting emotional in the process...
A little over a year ago I joined a CrossFit gym, Brazen Athletics. I was at a point in my life when working out got boring. Scratch that, working out was always boring. (Not to mention unproductive and an altogether waste of time when compared to CrossFit). I was also at a place in my life when I needed an outlet. I was looking for something to change. I wanted something to change. I needed something to change.
I found change through CrossFit.
What people who don’t CrossFit fail to understand is that it truly is more than a workout. It really is about life. If you’ve never experienced it than I fully understand not grasping that being possible. Trust me. It’s possible. I’m living it.
CrossFit prepares you for life. Dramatic - Maybe. True - Yes.
Getting back to the need for change. I was stressed out. I had a lot on my mind. I was 4 years in to a malaise of having lost my mother and mother-in-law immediately after getting married. I had moved on as much as one can but I will never “accept” the fact it happened. I’ll get back to this point later.
People handle death in all different manners. In my case, those that know me may have thought I was doing ok. They were wrong. I was headed downhill fast. I was sick of the seemingly constant negativity in my life. I was becoming emotionally dry with no water in sight. Aside from the mental and physical toll it was taking on me, it was affecting my wife, my career, my family and friends.
Then I walked into Brazen and things started to change.
Whether you want to call it a “cult” or a “community” or just a bunch of friendly people who like to work hard and push one another is up for you to decide. Like minded people from all walks of life. CEO’s, school teachers, accountants, financial analysts, high schoolers, middle schoolers, college kids, former athletes, housewives, retirees. You name it, you’ll find it.
It’s an environment where positivity runs rampant. It’s no longer about what you can’t do in life. It was about what you CAN do. No longer was it,“life sucks and that’s just how it is”. It became, “let’s show life what’s up and live it as best and as long as you can!”
All this is learned one WOD (Workout Of the Day) at a time. People find it crazy to think that your progressions in a gym can translate to your progressions in life. They’re mistaken. There’s nothing crazy about it. If you find it hard to believe than try it and see for yourself.
You learn things about yourself in a CrossFit gym. You find you’re not as weak as you once thought. You find the unthinkable and the impossible have been lies all along. You find out you’re mentally, not just physically, stronger than you once believed. These are all attributes that correlate to daily life outside the gym. You see your body changing in the mirror but beneath that lies an improving mind as well.
There’s a euphoria you get when you push yourself past a breaking point. When you push past your typical level of comfort and come out alive you find yourself mentally stronger…and wanting more. You find yourself yearning for it.
The euphoria is addicting. Not crazy. Addicting.
For me, I found something that refused to allow my downward spiral of emotional submission to continue. I found something that taught me to look at life in a new way. Instead of looking up at life and thinking, “Is this really happening?”, I started to look down at life and think, “What can I accomplish next?”
As I mentioned before, I will never “accept” the loss. Death is not something that should be “accepted”. I don’t believe you should ever “move on”. Death is something to fear and fear is something to attack. Is it inevitable, yes, but you can “accept” you’re going to die or you can do something about it. You can work hard and live healthy and push death to its breaking point. Stand up to it. Go down swinging. Fight like hell.
Don’t let society make you think negativity and submission is the norm. It’s not.
I slowly began to come out of my malaise and am still working on it. It will always be a work in progress. However, a few months into finding CrossFit and Brazen Athletics my wife said something to me that resonated…
“I haven’t seen you smile like that and be this passionate over something in years and I love that.”
…and just like that my outlet had become my passion.
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