May 2, 2013

King Of Your Life

So as I was driving up the Garden State Parkway the other day I couldn’t help but notice this bumper sticker on the car in front me…

 
I could probably end this blog now and leave the rest up to your imagination. Alas, that’s not as much fun as writing about it. I’m going to take a different tact though. Not one you’d come to expect from a guy like myself.
Let’s say Jesus was on the ticket for King of Your Life. Who else would run for that post? Who would his running mate be? His toughest opposition? Not surprisingly these are things  I thought about as I idled my way through traffic. Bumper stickers like this serve as immediate alarms for potential blogs and when that sound goes off my brain starts kicking.
My gut tells me Jesus wouldn’t have a hard time finding a good running mate. One might think he’d have one of his many loyal Disciples or Apostles by his side. Pretty sure John, Matt or Luke are the popular ones but are they most deserving? Didn’t one disobey him or steal a goat or something? Probably shouldn’t go with one of these untrustworthy groupies.  
If I were him I’d have to reach out to the famous trio known as The Three Wise Men. Wouldn’t you? Makes sense to me. I guess the only issue that could arise would be which of the three to select if he could have only one. Rock, Paper, Scissor might have to happen and that may prove more trouble than it’s worth.
Maybe everyone’s favorite boat captain, Noah, would get an interview. I mean hell if that kid could orchestrate not only the design, engineering and construction of a boat large enough to house all the worlds species in advance of a worldwide flood who’s to say he couldn’t organize peace in the Middle East?
Then there’s Moses. The author of the famed 10 Commandments. The magician who parted the almighty Red Sea. If I’m running for King of Your Life I may want a magician on my side and Moses may have to get the nod.
Biggest opposition to King of Your Life would have to come down to the usual suspects. Maybe Mohammad? The lovable Buddha? The bearded Zeus?
Mohammad is not only an obvious favorite going in since he’s so beloved but it’s also the most popular first and last name in the world. I imagine that will go a long way towards swaying votes come Election Day.
Buddha may ultimately be too nice a person and it’s possible he’d get typecast as a pushover. The King of Your Life needs a little bit of an edge I think.
It’s early and the campaigns haven’t begun but I’m fairly certain Zeus would get my King of Your Life vote. Who wouldn’t want your King to live atop Mt. Olympus? Who wouldn’t want a King who’s symbolically represented by the thunderbolt, the eagle and the oak tree!? Strong. Demonstrative. Fair. Someone you could really stand behind, not to mention a man familiar with dividing up responsibility. Unselfish to say the least.
Here’s a sleeper. What about Joseph of Joseph and Mary fame? I feel like he gets a raw deal. Same goes for God while we’re at it. Everyone always seems to pray to God but very rarely do they pray to Jesus. That might say something about people’s true loyalties. I liken it to people preferring the original George Bush over his son. I digress, back to Joseph, never really hear about the guy. You see statues of Mary but never of Joe. What’s that about?
So who would you vote for King of Your Life? You know where I stand...
 
 

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