Can Someone Please Explain...

1) Why the elderly do not have to retest for their drivers licenses once they get to a certain age? This really shouldn’t even be up for debate.

2) Why we don’t just legalize marijuana and tax the hell out’ve it and put billions of dollars back into the economy? People use it anyway. Just give in and legalize it. Colorado will be happy.

3) How the hell someone can ride a bike with no hands? Every time I see someone doing this it astonishes me. There has to be magic involved.

4) How a fax machine works so efficiently?

5) Why the President and/or World Leaders wont just do what they think is right instead of doing what they feel the public wants. You were voted in for a reason. Right or wrong. Just be decisive and lead.

6) Why we do not allow the people of Puerto Rico (this reminded me of The Three Amigos when Steve Martin says “The people of Santo Poco…!”) to vote in the presidential elections yet the president governs them? That makes no sense.

7) How the Empire State Building was built in, give or take, a year? In a time when there was no such thing as CAD, computers and plotters. That’s a feat that doesn’t get enough play.

8) Why Israel gets in trouble for defending themselves?

9) The point of learning script anymore? Just do away with it altogether. It’s been a long time coming.

10) Why we still consider Columbus to be the person that “discovered” America when he arrived and there were already people here? He might’ve put us on the map, literally and figuratively, but he didn’t actually discover anything.

House Hunters on "House Hunters"

Does anyone else find it as annoying as I do (and I'm sure Suzanne Whang agrees) when couples on House Hunters don’t stop talking about their kids and the “safety concerns” in the homes they see?

Listen, I realize us parents (I’m not a parent as of yet but I thought it sounded good) have to take safety and all things kids into consideration when it comes to, well, all things in your life. Just do us all a favor and leave the child-concerns at home when you’re on House Hunters and/or Property Virgins.

It’s just annoying.

When I’m trying to envision my life with your bank account in some far off exotic land, like, say Austin, TX and I have to see you choose House #3 because there’s no pool and they have “just a perfect space that can be used as the kids homework room” it makes me cringe.

It really makes me angry.

So let me get this straight. You chose the average home because of the “Homework Room” over the gorgeous mansion with the balconies, master bedroom the size of my property, and all the amenities? I don’t buy it. Figuratively. ‘Cause I would certainly buy it literally!

Aggravating.

I watched an episode recently where an annoying woman didn’t choose the most gorgeous mansion I’ve ever laid eyes on because the “playroom” upstairs had a door that led to a balcony which she deemed unsafe for her kids. Understandable if only for this great new invention that hit the market about 950 years ago called a lock.

“Oh little Billy will just love this space to do his homework!”

“This room will be great for Amanda to keep all her dolls in!”

“I just love how the kitchen flows into the living room so I can watch Michael and Rebecca play all day long!”

So the 5 bedroom 4 bath House #2 didn’t have the necessary room for Billy, Amanda, Michael or Rebecca I guess?

Spare me.

Thank goodness for House Hunters International coming up next. Those families are much cooler!

A couple parting thoughts...

- That's not a "tray ceiling" so stop calling it that

- That chair rail is hideous so please stop saying it really compliments the room

- No. No. No. I'm sorry but that color is awful and that wallpaper is NOT nice! Are we looking at the same bathroom?

- Please explain because I'm not understanding. What about this 20'x25' master bedroom is bothering you again?

Embarassing. Insulting. Outlandish.

Why is it that it seems the majority of parents these days allow their children to treat restaurants like their own personal playgrounds?

This particular subject has been gnawing at me for quite a while now. Are parents lazier now then they once were? I think they must be, no? When I was a 3 year old kid dominating the southern shores of Long Island were their 3 year old kids treating the local restaurants like a jungle gym? And if so were their parents laughing and ogling over “how precious Sammy and Jessica are” during their egregious act of disregard?

The other night I was having dinner at a local casual restaurant that has your typical outdoor patio area. A nice little area which makes your Pork Chop special taste all that much better…unless you happen to be dining alongside 4 mother’s drinking wine while their 4 toddlers run around in their madras shorts and popped collar polos annoying the hell out’ve the other people trying to eat dinner.

It was embarrassing. Insulting. Outlandish. I don’t know for certain but I do know one thing – if I so much as got up from my seat during dinner when I was a kid I would get in trouble. If my sister so much as chewed her steak too deliberately she’d be given The Look of Utter Disdain. Now I’m not saying The Look of Utter Disdain is the way to treat your child when they struggle to chew on a large piece of steak but you get my point. My point is there should be some type of discipline and there seems to be none of it these days.

About an hour into our dinner the father’s showed up to the restaurant. I was hoping to all hell they’d come and right the ship. The scene was playing out that they would. At least in my head it was. The men would come and be annoyed at their drunken wives for allowing their bratty kids to take over the outdoor dining area.

Dad #1 – Kept his mouth shut but you could tell he was embarrassed by the way he was subtly looking around at everyone else outside. Gave his kids a look or two but didn’t open his mouth.

Dad #2 – Bingo. The dad I was looking for. He was not pleased at what he walked into. Paid very little attention to his annoying wife and began reprimanding the children. Did the children listen to him? Not really. But that’s currently not the point. At least he tried and realized the actions were unacceptable. Dad #2 then apologized to Michelle and I as he was taking the kids out’ve the restaurant. He saw my death stare so he knew I wasn’t pleased. I of course acted like it was no big deal since I wasn’t in a feisty mood. I wanted an apology and he gave one.

I just don’t understand the mentality of allowing your children to run around and be loud in a public place. Its lazy parenting. I’m not a parent just yet but I know for damn certain that will not happen under my regime. And another thing, not to veer too far off topic, but it annoys the hell out’ve me when I hear current parents say to non-parents, “oh you’ll see! You say that now but wait until you have kids!” No. No thank you. I know for sure I have certain beliefs that a child will not change. I’m sure there are instances where you get a little lazy and let things go. Obviously there are and there will be. Just like there is in anything in life. But some are not up for debate. Like this one.