Part 2 - Getting Haircut Anxiety (GHA)We have delved into the depths of BPA and now I’d like to give you a little understanding into the suffering that takes place in the minds of people with a disorder known as GHA, or Getting Haircut Anxiety.
GHA attacks at the inner-core of one’s self-esteem. This is precisely why it’s not all that uncommon of a disorder as compared to BPA where only certain lunatics like myself suffer from it.
What are the causes of GHA?
For starters lets talk about the mirror. The mirror issue is twofold. First, I don’t know about you but I am not a fan of sitting in front of a mirror and being forced to look at myself for an extended period of time. If I were in a dressing room trying on clothes that may be one thing. Sitting in a chair staring at yourself with a smock on that makes it look like your head is popping out’ve a volcano is not my idea of a stress-free 20 minutes.
And what is it about these mirrors anyway? I feel like the mirrors in barbers, salons, etc. magnetize all your problem spots. Again, I do not enjoy analyzing these “problem spots” for 20 minutes while being confined to an uncomfortable chair.
Second, I find it extremely difficult to hold a conversation with the hairdresser when they are standing behind me. I marvel at how people next to me rattle on like this is Alice In Wonderland (I think that’s the right mirror reference? Wait, maybe not. I could be way off with that.) Nobody else finds it incredibly awkward holding a conversation with someone behind you?? I’m notorious (I bet my face is in the hairdresser Blackbook of Boring Personalities) for not saying very much at all when I’m getting my haircuts. I’ll try. I will. Sometimes I have good days and the hairdresser and I are like Butch and Sundance but other days, most other days, we’re like a broken relationship where one person (the hairdresser) is trying to hold on for as long as possible only to realize their spouse has effectively shut them out from all communication. It’s sad when you think of it like that. It’s sad living with GHA.
Another cause of GHA comes towards the end. The question comes at you like the proverbial elephant in the room – “So what do you think?!”
I’ll tell you what I think. "I think the sides aren’t blended in properly and I’m gonna get laughed at when I walk to my car. You blatantly ignored me when I said not to take too much off the top and now I’m going to look like a guy who didn’t have the guts to go short-short and instead settled with the awkward in-between length!"
Ok fine, so I didn’t say that out loud but don’t think I wasn’t thinking it. Even if it weren’t really true. GHA is known to distort the truth. Here’s what I did say, “Good. Nice. Yup. Thank you.”
After that uncomfortable exchange where the hairdresser is making a mental note to put my name and picture in the Blackbook of Boring Personalities comes the next awful moment: The hand held mirror to the back of the head.
Every time we get to this point I hope to hell they don’t go for this move. I mean what am I supposed to say? Here’s what I do say, “Yup. Good.” Followed by an awkward head nod as if to say, “Please put the mirror down. It’s fine and I’m not going to tell you I don’t like it so can we please move on! I suffer from GHA!”
Again, mental note for the Blackbook of Boring Personality.
All this being said you might think since I suffer from GHA I hate getting haircuts. I would understand if you thought that. However the opposite is true. I love getting haircuts but mainly because I love the feel of a clean head of hair. I love the comraderie between client and hairdresser (albeit a pretty bland one for their sake). They have the power to make me look good and that’s impressive. As a result, when I find someone I like I’m a loyal soldier and they reap the financial benefits of a better than average tip and a twice a month customer.
So thank you for dealing with my bouts of GHA, stylists. And as a result here is a plug for your business's. You've all earned my trust and thus why I'm a returning client. For someone with GHA that is no easy task!
Raena
Epitome Style Lounge
www.epitomestyle.com
Rosa
Bangz Salon
www.bangz.net
David
David Chad Salon
www.davidchad.com
John
JT's Barber Shop, Verona
1 comment:
Which of those places/stylists is the one who didn't listen to keep it short on the top?
And twice a month? That's a lot! How much hair could you really grow in two weeks.
Finally I agree about the mirror but feel weirder about staring at the jar of blue-ish liquid that is supposedly cleaning the combs. That stuff doesn't look clean.
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