October 10, 2013

I Just May

No I don’t have kids. Yes I plan to have kids. Here’s a hint going forward…
Please don’t tell me the following, “You’ll see when you have kids of your own!”, because that may be the single most nauseating statement a current parent can make.
This just in – I may “see” when I have a kid and I may, GASP, still agree that they can play football when they’re young.
I may, GASP, still not give a shit if someone curses in front of them.
I may, GASP, tell them what to do and not have it be an open ended question that ends in, “Ok?”.
I may, GASP, punish them and not have to reinforce the punishment with an “I love you.”
I may, GASP, tell my kid that defending yourself physically will not get you punished because I think it’s called standing up for yourself.
I may, GASP, not think my “life is over”.
I may, GASP, still do things for myself and not be a terrible parent.
I may, GASP, allow them to miss school for vacations.
I may, GASP, allow my kid to ride their bike without a helmet.
I may, GASP, not have their 1st birthday party look like a wedding.
I may and I may and I may and I may
Football is too dangerous. Playgrounds are war zones. Swing sets need to be padded. Trophies for everyone. No such thing as winners or losers. Dodgeball is target practice. Every kid is a genius.
On and on and on and on
ENOUGH! I may do all those things and I may not. Either way can we all just agree to stop overthinking every god damn step we take in this world? Everyone spends so much time worrying about anxiety and psyche’s and all we’re doing is creating more anxiety and psychos.
Just be.