Day 11 + 4 - Chanukah Needs a New Marketing Manager

First let me apologize for the absence in posts the past several days. I’m going to try my best to catch up. And on this Day 11 + 4 I’d really like to discuss how…

Chanukah Needs a New Marketing Manager

Yes. I hope they’re hiring. I’ve been thinking about this the past week or so. As far as I know Chanukah is the Jewish version of Christmas. I know not in a literal sense but in a holiday festive sense it’s supposedly a happy holiday, no? Any of my Jewish readers feel free to help me on this one.

I’ll tell you what I do know. I know that Christmas is marketed like a banchee. You name it and there is a Christmas themed version for it. Houses are adorned in lights. Blow up animals around each corner. Reindeer on roofs. Christmas music on every FM radio station. I could go on and on. So I ask you, my fine Jewish brethren, where the hell is the Chanukah swag? Who is in charge of this damn holiday for you guys?

I imagine there is a Vatican City for the Jews somewhere. Or is the Vatican for Jews as well as the Christians? Who knows. Anyway, the point is that the Christmas Marketing Manager is doing one hell of a job in his cushy corner office in the Vatican. I’m gonna assume that either Judaism does not have a Chanukah Marketing Manager or that the one currently employed in Jerusalem only has the position due to nepotism of some sort and isn’t really quite qualified.

Authors Note: Nothing wrong with nepotism. The only people that don’t support nepotism are the ones that don’t have the nepotistic opportunity.

Authors Note #2: Not sure “nepotistic” is a word but you know what I mean.

Here’s what I know about the job the Chanukah Marketing Manager has done. He or she has come up with 3 marketing ideas:

1 – The Menorah

2 – Blue version of Christmas Lights

3 – The giant Menorah to put on the top of your car.

If you realize that the blue lights are a knock off of Christmas lights you can check that one off the list. Then if you take the giant menorah for your car off the list since it’s a knock off of the Rudolph nose and antler car ornaments you really only have 1 bright idea, no pun intended.

Why just one bright idea?

Isn’t Chanukah 6 nights of gift giving? There really seems to be more of an opportunity to take this holiday up a notch. I mean it’s never going to eclipse Christmas but there’s no reason it can’t be more publicized. Noone even knows when the hell the holiday is for crying out loud.

Fire the current Chanukah Marketing Manager.

Shalom!